Ode to Love
by naminesoraluv
Summary: Kondo has given up on Otae and tries to end all his problems, but fate wouldn't let him, after all his story was just beginning.  Better than how it sounds trust me Kondo X Otae and Kondo X OC
1. Chapter 1

Diclaimer: I do not own any of the Gintama Characters ok?

Chapter 1: Sorry.

Kondo Isao was a man of immense patience and virtue, especially when it came to his beloved, a "delicate" flower Otae Shimura. Kondo had been pursuing her for years, relentlessly but to no avail. His feelings of pure love and admiration was met with kicks, punches that sent him flying into walls, broken noses, bleeding from his cranium, he even ended up in the hospital a few times well but that didn't deter him from pursuing his one true love! Nope not Kondo aka Gorilla-san, he was positive his feelings were getting through to his beloved, he could **feel** it.

He just finished up his rounds with Sougo and Toushi, so he went and bought flowers for his flower. He grinned as the shop keeper asked him if the flowers were for his special lady.

"Er well….. yes you could say that ahahahahahahaha!" He laughed putting an hand behind his head. Some whispered as he passed, talking loud enough for him to hear.

"_You see that man there? He is that stalker Shimura-san was telling me about!"_

"_Eh? He's a shinsengumi? Oh my! How the great shinsengumi has fallen to have even criminals on their team."_

"_Poor man, he just won't give up on that girl, it's obvious she doesn't love him like that."_

"_What an idiot, how many years has he been pursuing that young lady and to no avail, some men just can't accept no."_

Kondo tried to ignore them, like he usually did but for some reason, the words were hitting him hard tonight. He clutched the flowers to his chest, thanked the cashier and walked out of the store. It had been about 4 years since he had been pursuing the maiden Otae but yet…. He didn't know how to get her to open up to him. Every time he saw her he felt his heart thump like crazy, those butterflies in his stomach didn't ever seem to go away.

Little Brother Shinpachi grew to accept him….. somewhat….. well at least he didn't get pissed when he tried to call him his little brother instead he just said

"I'm not your brother." And walk off. Sougo and Toushi didn't know why he even bothered to pursue Otae, as far as they were concerned she was a lost cause and he needed to move on. Of course they ended up arguing about her and eventually gave into his point of views. He saw it, that pure light that emitted from her the sweet soul she is ever since that time when they first met she told him she would accept a man with a hairy buttocks and all. He was sure it was meant to be…. It's just that she needed a little more convincing that's all.

He approached her brothel, bouquet in hand and ready to proclaim his undying love for the thousandth time and asking her to marry him **again**. He approached her just like he always had, and she looked at him with annoyance on her face just like she always had. Then she would say

"Ah! Who let a gorilla in here? Some one call the zoo and ask if they lost it!" she said with a mocking smile on her face and others around started to laugh. He felt a pang in his chest, strange…. That never happened before. He shrugged it off

"Otae-san I have come to profess my undying love for you!" he said handing her the flowers with a stupid grin on his face, she took them and started sneezing. Her eyes became instantly swollen and everyone around her cringed at her…. Well let's just say not as pretty face. She looked in the water's reflection and shrieked in horror.

She stood up and clenched her fist as she silently shook in anger, Kondo sensing approaching danger panicked and started apologizing quickly

"Ah! O-Otae-san I I I am sorry! I didn't know you were allergic to carnations! I swear I didn't mean to-

"….leave." she whispered trembling in silent anger. He tried to explain what had happened, fearing that the beauty's anger was going to manifest an hundred fold

"I thought you would have liked them, I swear if I knew you were allergic I would not have bought them I would have gotten irises instead and I-"

" LEAVE!" Otae semi screamed and looked at him, he was shocked to see tears cascading from her swollen eyes.

"What… have I done to deserve to be harassed like this? All I wanted was to live a worry free life and become rich with the money I earned, open a small business that would expand and make me a millionare. Marry a nice husband have two children, a son and a daughter and then as I got older live with him by the sea side…. Away from all the troubles of this life." She glared at him with bitterness and continued "But…. You, why won't you leave me alone? All I want is peace and quiet, don't you understand? I'll **never** love or even marry a guy like you!" She yelled and threw the flowers in his face.

Her words cut him deeper than any katana he ever had been cut by, none of her violent episodes compared to the words she just spoke to him because he knew it was coming from her heart.

Without another word Kondo stood up and walked out of the brothel. He walked in silence not even noticing where he was going. If he had been in his right frame of mind, he would have been able to tell that he was walking farther away from town and into the forest surrounding the town. He came closer to the fast flowing river, closer and closer he drew near to the rapid fast flowing waters. He halted as he felt his toes touch the rivers cool water, it was beckoning him gently as the waters brushed against his feet.

"you… seem to want me more than Otae-san will ever want me…. Perhaps it's for the best if I allow myself this one selfish bit of happiness…. " He thought as he plunged into the fast flowing currents.

Just like what he heard of when you are about die, he saw his life flash before his eyes from when he was just a small baby with his mother and father, to when he met Sougo and Toshi at the doujo, the Odd Jobs Crew, the Shinsengumi members all cheering at him and chanting captain. He felt his heart break at their happy faces, knowing very well what would be their reactions at the news of his approaching death.

'_Sougo, Toushi….I am sorry that you had to put up with this idiot and that I won't be able be there for you anymore…. Take care…. Of our shinsengumi…."_

As he was about to take his last breath he saw the person his heart ached to see the most

"_Otae….. san…. I….am sorry…. I will always… love…." _

And then there was nothing but silence….

A/N: I hope you liked the first chapter. Read and Review and tell moi what you thought of it ok?


	2. Chapter 2: Sorrow

Chapter 1: Sorrow

Sougo Okita knew that something was wrong with Kondo-san when he saw him on the streets last night, he looked so lifeless, and to add to that he didn't come home that night. He tried to place it off that perhaps his captain was just moping a little, probably because of big sister Shimura. He went looking at the bars where he could have been, no one saw him. Okita even went to the Odd Jobs crew to see if they knew where he was, much to his dismay a certain red head answered the door and they ended up battling for a few hours before they both ran out of energy. A lost cause he would say, though he did enjoy battling her. He went to the different members of the Shinsengumi and none could recall seeing him. His patience started running thin when he even went and asked bastard Hijikata if he had seen him. The jerk didn't and decided to help him look for the MIA commander.

"Oi Sougo, where all have you looked already?" Hijikata asked eating a bowl of ramen while pouring the disgusting amounts of mayo on it.

"Shops, Odd Jobs, bars, I haven't checked in with Big Sis though. I guess she may know something, you bastard." Hijikata's vein appeared on his fore head and he grabbed his coat.

"Oi, oi, oi is that how you speak to your superior you bastard?" He said glaring at the younger man menacingly, to which Okita was un-fazed.

"What superior? Go eat your dog food and die Bastard Hijikata." As they proceeded to battle it out Yamazaki came in yelling looking pale as a ghost.

"Vice Captain! We found Commander's shoes and katana along the river's edge, we have reason to think that he's….. that he's-!" Yamazaki said as he wiped away tears from his eyes.

"What? Kondo-san would never d- Oi Sougo where are you going?" he yelled as the younger man ran out side to the direction of the river. Feelings raced through him like a tornado to a town, mainly consisting of immense panic and disbelief

"_Kondo-san's dead? No! He wouldn't die on me_ , _they HAVE to be some one else's shoes! Perhaps he just went for a swim if anything, that has to be it!" _As he thought that thousands of pictures of Kondo flashed through his mind, from the time they first met when he was six, to when he comforted him after his sister's death, that kind goofy face that put the boy at ease and gave him a sense of belonging and acceptance. There was absolutely NO way Kondo would leave him, not after all they've been through together.

As he approached the river, he saw fellow Shinsengumi's crowding around the scene, many crying and others staring in disbelief. He got angry and yelled in fustration

"What are you all crying about? Kondo san isn't dead! I-" Matsudaira-san came up to him and put an hand on his shoulder. "We… found pieces of Kondo's coat in the river…. It had blood stains on it…. Kondo's katana was found near to where his shoes were retrieved on the river shore. Investigation is still being done to determine, if this was a suicide or a homicide." The older man looked at the younger with sympathy and walked away to address the forming on lookers. Okita walked towards the shoes slowly that were found along the river, it was the shoes he bought Kondo for his birthday. He picked them up and held them to his chestand remembered that day, how could he ever forget

**Flash Back**

"_HAPPY 28__th__ BIRTHDAY COMMANDER!" yelled the entire Shinsengumi as they surprised the young man. Kondo blushed and started laughing like an idiot_

"_AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Thanks Guys!" He said grinning from ear to ear as he was presented with gifts from not only the shinsengumi but also the civilians whom he helped along the way. The Odd Jobs crew was there, his family was there, many residents of the town were there as well, even Otae Shimura was there. Okita shifted uncomfortably as he saw people giving Kondo expensive gifts like rollex watches, name brand clothes and colognes etc. He slapped himself mentally as he hid his gift behind his back, embarrassed at how insignificant it seemed compared to all the others. He tried to sink into the back ground so not be put on spot but Kondo was quick enough to notice him._

"_AH! Sougo! What are you doing behind there, come on over and celebrate with me."Kondo said grinning and motioning him over. Okita walked over still clutching his gift behind his back_

"_H-Happy Birthday Kondo-san. Ummm….. this is for you." He said quickly shoving the gift in the birthday man's hands and attempted to walk away but was stopped by the bastard Hijikata. Okita gave him a death glare but the man refused to remove his hold off of the man's collar. Kondo quickly ripped off the wrapping and stared at his gift. Okita blushed slightly and turned away as others around him started snickering at his gift, Kondo's reaction was not what he expected at all. Instead of him being disappointed and brushing off the gift, Kondo turned to him and gave him a bear hug. Okita's eyes widened in shock. As he pulled away the man grinned at him_

"_Sougo, I LOVE it! How did you know I needed new shoes? Ahahahahahaha! Just like you to know me so well! They look amazing, thanks a bunch!" Kondo said grinning and ruffled Okita's hair. Okita smiled and mentally smacked himself on the forehead. How could he have even feared for a moment that Kondo would have hated what he got, after all Kondo is the kindest person in the world and the only person he would ever think of as a brother._

"_Oi Sougo are you coming? I'm going to cut the cake now and Otae-san is willing to do it with me! Take a picture quick!" He said grinning like a Cheshire cat even while Otae pushed him away to give them arms distance. _ _Okita nodded and walked over to his commander and his future Big Sister._

**End of Flash Back.**

Drip, a drop of water fell from the sky then the rain followed. It poured out like if it was crying…. Okita stood up slowly, each step was painful. Hijikata walked up to him and held out an umbrella. Okita looked at the man with dead eyes, Hijikata's eyes were shielded due to his hair falling over them and the face that he was looking at the ground.

"Sougo…. You should get out the rain, you know Kondo-san would never approve if you got sick…" he said bowing his head. Okita passed him without accepting the umbrella or even saying a word. Hijikata also said nothing as the man passed him, for once they had a mutual under standing over an incident that has caused them pain.

Back at the Shinsengumi residence

Okita sat outside on the verandah, staring at the rain not caring if he got sick or not, this familiar pain, the one he felt when his beloved sister passed this realm, came back with a vengeance. The door to his room opened and in walked Hijikata, Okita didn't even bother to look back at the man as he approached closer to him.

"It had been ruled as suicide." It, being Kondo's death. Okita didn't even flinch, he just sat there staring at nothing in particular.

"…."

"Hey…. Aren't you going to say anything?"

"…."

"Hey I'm speaking to you."

"…" That was the final straw, Hijikata grabbed him by the shirt and glared at him

"Listen up you bastard! Do you think you are the only one who's suffering? HUH? I cared for Kondo too! How do you think I feel knowing that he's- that he's-!" Hijikata couldn't bring himself to say it as tears started to stream down his face, he released his shirt and breathed heavily wiping away the tears.

"I'm sorry Sougo…. I will leave now…." He said quickly walking out of the room. Okita fell into a trance like state.

"Hey Sougo!" His eyes widened and he quickly replied

"Kondo-san? Where are you?" he looked around and got up. Again the voice called out to him

"Sougo! Why are you looking so sad? Cheer up! I'll buy you any desert you want if you do!" Okita followed the voice outside. He then saw him standing with that goofy expression on his face waving at him. A wave of immense relief washed over him

"I knew you weren't dead Kondo-san! It was just a horrible misunderstanding right? You are your normal self again right?" He asked running towards the older man, who just smiled at him and slowly became transparent. Okita panicked as his friend started to vanish

"No no no! Kondo don't leave me alone again! I don't want to be by myself, I already lost my sister please don't let me lose my best friend too!" He pleaded with him. Kondo smiled sadly and waved goodbye

"_Bye bye Sougo_…_._" The voice whispered and finally went silent. That was the last straw for him, Okita looked up to the sky and gave an anguished cry. His screams blended into the rain's both seemed to be crying for the loss of such a great man. His sobs were heard by all the Shinsengumi on the compound.

They say realization hits harder than bricks, Okita finally under stood what they meant.

* * *

><p>AN: Ah~ Sorry guys no Kondo yet but he will come as promised in the next chapter :) Read/ Review and tell me what you liked and didn't liked. Constructive criticism is more than welcomed!


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